An account of how to respond in a case of artwork emergency (Venice edition)

serves 3 for a respectable period of gaiety

1 pair of latex gloves per person

1 box of spare 3D-connectors

1 x-acto knife

1 video camera

2 pairs of steady hands (exhibition interns)

2 tweezers

3 sheets of bubble wrap and cardboard (an assortment of sizes)

Preload SD card into video camera and set resolution to 1920 x 1080. First, discuss the required steps needed to amend the artwork as requested by the artist. Marinate for 10 minutes to ensure that all members are fully saturated with an understanding of their roles and responsibilities.

Place all the necessary equipment and tools neatly to one side, a safe distance away from the artwork. Layout the sheets of bubble wrap and cardboard, one on each side of the work.

Press record and entrust the Italian gallery coordinator with documentation. Gently, with both hands, remove all the detached plastic and/or wooden pieces away from the work. Place onto cardboard. Remove any artist tape exposed on the wooden sculpture by scoring lightly, with extreme care, using the x-acto knife. Peel off the layers with tweezers, alternating between the tip styles as necessary.

Re-attach disconnected 'limbs' to the rest of the artwork by first positioning the desired location and angle. Combine creative problem-solving and playfulness until the correct size of 3D-plastic connector is found, about 3 minutes. Slowly beat in teamwork and ingenuity. Mix well.

Remove safety padding from under the working area and wait for Italian coordinator to approve with a "Bravo/a, I like." Add the final wooden 'limb' to an available opening in the connector. Twist in slowly and steadily. Remove any fallen debris and store away all pieces of equipment.

Re-open the gallery and serve with a big smile of relief.